I had to get back in shape after having Felix so I got started on intense cardio training. Even though I was building my own rocket ship I still wanted to get promoted at work. A promotion comes with a salary increase which Sebastian and I need in order to keep the household afloat. We learned that we should have reviewed our budget after Christopher and Chloe left taking their incomes with them as now it was difficult paying all the bills with only two salaries. Perhaps I should have started off slow when working out because the very first day I stepped on the treadmill I fell… really hard!
No worries though. I got right back on it until it was time for me to get ready to go to work. I was so pumped and energized from my early morning workout that I couldn’t wait to get to the station and get my performance level up.
I liked spending time with my children when I got home from work, especially Felix. He’s my last baby so I wanted to cherish every moment with him as an infant before he grew up. He loved it when I made funny faces at him and he had the cutest laugh.
Soon enough though he grew up to be a handsome little boy inheriting his father’s green eyes just like his older sister. As a birthday present to him we bought monkey bars and a gymnasium since he loved climbing and swinging on things.
He also grew up to be a glutton just like Ethan. Now I had two boys with poor table manners which irritated a perfectionist like me. I couldn’t take them to restaurants or even on picnics because the messy and greedy way they ate food was so embarrassing for me. Nonetheless they were good kids and were so close and looked so similar in appearance that sometimes people thought they were twins.
Bentley came to visit us after his birthday. Christopher and Chloe both had work obligations so I volunteered to take Bentley to spend the day with us so he could get to know his cousins. Seeing his smile reminded me of when Christopher was his age.
I resumed working on the rocket after Felix was born making a lot more progress than anyone expected. One evening after I got home from work I pushed through until midnight, finally completing it. I was so excited to finally have it done but I wasn’t ready to take it out for a stroll yet because I was so tired so I decided I would wait until morning to show everyone and then take that first blast into space.
But when I woke up the next morning at the crack of dawn I just couldn’t wait for Sebastian and the kids to wake up so I changed into a white spacesuit I bought and headed inside. The anticipation of being in space gave me butterflies in my stomach but I was focused on my mission.
I didn’t plan on being gone for too long as I was just going to test it out so I knew no one would miss me plus I thought it would be cool if the sound of the ship taking off woke them up and made them go outside only to see that I finished the rocket and was about to fulfill my dream!
I returned a few hours later as I couldn’t contain my wonder and desire to go exploring on one of Saturn’s moons. You would not believe the things I found there! There were so many different ores and plant life that were nothing like this world – not that I expected it to be. If I wasn’t running low on fuel I would have traveled to the next moon near Saturn but unfortunately I had to return home.
My heart was bursting with joy and excitement over my accomplishment and I could not wait to tell Sebastian when he got home from work. He and the kids already left for work and school respectively. I wondered why they didn’t stay home and wait for my return. Surely this was an important day for me that could have afforded them missing one day in order to give me a hero’s welcome when I got back.
The kids were interested but they were too young to really understand the importance of what I had accomplished so I couldn’t wait for Sebastian to get home because he had always been supportive of me. When he got home however he didn’t even look for me, he just went and took a shower and then got to the kitchen. I couldn’t understand why he didn’t ask me about the rocket or my journey into space. He carried on as though it was just an ordinary day. I was already eating a bowl of leftover franks and beans while he got started on garlic noodles for the kids to have for dinner. I began telling him every detail I could remember from the smooth launch to the feeling of zero gravity once I started to leave the atmosphere to the bright lights surrounding Saturn as I got on course to one of its moons.
After a while I noticed he was angrily dumping ingredients into the pot and his face was as sour as a lemon. Was he mad at me? He never gets mad at me!
“Are you upset?” I asked.
“Yeah, I am.” He said plainly.
“Why are you upset? This is my dream, my life’s aspiration, you should be happy for me!”
“Happy?” He was angry, it was the first time I saw him angry. “I wake up to a loud sound coming from outside only to learn that my wife took off in a rocket. I didn’t even know was finished! You didn’t test it properly, what if something bad happened? What if it crashed Bree?”
“I’m not stupid Sebastian. I knew what I was doing. I know I made a perfect rocket – it was never going to crash. I wouldn’t use it if I had the slightest doubt that it wasn’t up to par.”
“That’s not the point! You left without informing us. What if you got lost or attacked by some alien in space and we never got to see you again? It was very selfish of you. I have always supported you and you didn’t think I’d want to be a part of your adventure? You didn’t think the kids and I would want to be there to see you off?”
I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t think it was a big deal but I realized then that it was not a good idea to leave like I did. He finished cooking the noodles and carried it into the dining room where the kids were waiting, laughing and talking as usual while I just stood there in the kitchen feeling terrible because I had hurt Sebastian’s feelings.
Every night Sebastian would swim a few laps in the swimming pool before bed as part of his fitness regime. That night I decided to join him. I knew he was still upset with me but the one thing I loved about him was that he never gave me the cold shoulder or silent treatment. He always treated me with respect and never ignored me even when I deserved it.
“You are always saying it’s too cold at night to go swimming, so how come you’re doing it?” he asked me after I jumped into the pool.
“I’m sorry about this morning. I’ll never leave like that without saying goodbye to you and the kids.”
“I forgive you. I forgave you an hour ago.”
I was so pleased to hear him say that as I couldn’t bear it if he remained angry at me any longer. As we cuddled by the pool relaxing into each other’s arms I realized that we hadn’t done this in a very long time – our late night alone time by the pool.
We both got so caught up in having children, getting ahead in our careers and achieving our personal goals that we forgot to make time for each other, for our relationship. A part of me was glad that we had that fight because I never would have realized how much I take our relationship for granted and that even though my aspirations are important to me, I should never make it more important than my family.