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I made a mistake.

I now understood why Mother was trying to warn me and why she said I would lose everything if I went ahead with my plan.

1526a

I should have listened. I should have abandoned my plans to remove Gabriel from our lives, accepted him and moved forward.

If I had done all of that, then this would not have happened.

1527

After teleporting back to the rocket ship and setting the course to Earth I was happy thinking I’d return home just before 2 pm which means I would have enough time to land and change out of the space suit before the school bus dropped off the girls. However, just before I began my course something crashed into the side of the ship causing one of the landing stabilizers to malfunction. I couldn’t see what it was at first. I assumed it was a floating space rock or something but then I realised it was a missile that was fired at me from another ship. A Sixamian ship! They were attacking me!

When I saw they were aiming to fire at me again I knew I had to get out of there. I had no choice. Those alien scumbags were trying to kill me. I probably shouldn’t have threatened to kill that child. Then I thought about what Nupita said and how carefully she worded it.

The child is special, I will not let any harm come to him or others like him so long as I am alive. You will be separated from him. You have my word.

1527a

She didn’t plan on taking him away from me she planned on taking me away from him!

I couldn’t allow that to happen so I put the ship in acceleration mode and took off as fast as I could, heading towards Earth. They followed me for a while and I had to go off course to try to lose them but after a couple of hours, I realised my best bet was to make it back to earth. I would return much later than I planned and I would definitely have some questions to answer since everyone was probably home already but it didn’t matter because the aliens could not attack me while I was on Earth or in Earth’s atmosphere as it was against the rules of the treaty.

Just as I had hoped they pulled back as I was approaching Earth’s atmosphere. I felt safe, thinking I lost them and I could safely return home but I forgot one crucial thing.

The landing stabilizers had malfunctioned.

1528

I crashed upon landing and the rocket ship went up into flames.

I thought for sure I was a goner so I thanked the Watcher when I realised I was still in one piece. Thank goodness the control pod I was in was flame retardant otherwise I would have burnt to a crisp like the other parts of the ship that were mangled and scorched.

1529

I managed to drag myself out from under the fiery rubble. By then the automatic extinguisher module contained within the landing platform kicked in and began to extinguish the fire. It was a feature designed to prevent crash fires from spreading.

I was finally free from the crashed ship. My sight was blurry and I was partially deaf because of the loud noise from the crash. My heart was racing and I could barely breathe but I told myself it was adrenaline coursing through my body that made me feel that way.

1530

I didn’t realise I was wrong until it was too late.

It would have been too late anyway. Even if I received immediate medical attention it would be of no use. I did have adrenaline coursing through my body and that was why I was able to crawl out of the ship.

1531

But my internal injuries were too severe. I didn’t feel any pain. Adrenaline works better than any pain killer. It soon wore off though and I fell to the ground. The ringing in my ears stopped and I was able to hear a familiar whirring sound. I soon realised what it was.

The Grim Reaper.

1532

He came for Mother when she died. I remembered how he was still there in the house when I came home even though she had been gone for hours before. He too tried to warm me about my ways and I didn’t listen to him either.

…you might want to reconsider the way you spend the time you have Gemma. The universe exists due to balance and karma is very real…

1532a

I deserved this, didn’t I? I tried to do a bad thing for my own benefit and it literally landed me in the fire. I could feel the life – my life – slipping away.

I heard the sound of cries and feet running in my direction. Mum! Gemma! I heard them scream.

They cried, all of them. Even Zachary. They all stood around wondering what to do but then The Reaper came closer and then it became clear to all of them and even to me, who was still in denial at that point, that it was too late to do anything to save me.

1533

“Gemma, NO! Not like this!” I heard Zachary cry in disbelief. “You can’t leave us Gemma, our girls need you, I need you, please…!”

He needed me. He still loved me! What have I done?!

I thought I would have to get rid of Gabriel in order to have him vulnerable enough to fall for me again when he still loved me all this while. He was only angry with me because of the things I had done but he still loved me.

1534

It became clear now. Mother said it and even Zachary said it but I didn’t listen to them because my pride didn’t let me. It’s difficult to feel prideful when you feel your life slipping away from you. I really was the cause of my own messes.

It wasn’t anyone else’s fault but mine. Not Leni, not Adalynn, and not even Gabriel. Zachary didn’t want our marriage to end but he ended it because he was unhappy… because I made him unhappy by only thinking of myself and my needs and what I wanted.

I really was the selfish one.

In my attempt to separate Gabriel from Zachary, I ended up separating myself from my daughters and him. All the people I loved the most in the world.

1535

“You can’t take her.” I heard Ivy say sternly to The Reaper. “Look at her, she’s still young. It’s not her time yet.”

“According to my records it is her time,” He replied nonchalantly.

“Listen to us…” Zachary began but The Reaper cut him off.

“I understand that this is difficult to accept but her name is right here: Gemma Sloane, born of Danielle Sloane and Stephan Lin. My records do not lie and I must take her with me now.”

1536

“No, don’t!” Zachary yelled.

“Please don’t,” Isabel and Johanna cried at the same time.

“I beg you!” Zachary got down on one knee. “Take me instead. Please, I love her. Yes, we had our troubles but I loved her no less. I can’t let her die like this. I beg you to give her another chance.”

1537

“You beg for her and you do not even know what she has done.” The Reaper said knowingly.

“I don’t care. Yes, she’s done despicable things but we can’t lose her like this. She needs another chance.”

“What has she done Reaper? Why was she even on that ship in the first place?” Ivy demanded to know the answer in spite of being distraught. I judged her so harshly by calling her selfish for not following my orders and weak for not standing up for herself when the kids at school picked on her. She is neither. She is my darling daughter who is so kind and intrigued by the world around her and all of its possibilities.

He did not answer her question and for that I was grateful. Eventually, they will come to know the truth but right now I did not want them to know because I didn’t want to add to their pain. I was grateful to The Reaper for not saying anything and also for not prolonging the inevitable.

1538

There was a sudden change in sensations. One minute I was physically aware of my body and all of its parts and the next I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. I could not feel but I was still mentally aware. An odd feeling to describe but I guess this is what it’s like to be dead.

All that was left of me were my remains lying cold on the concrete ground with my loved ones surrounding me in tears. I’ve heard older people say that they do not fear death being around the corner because they have lived good lives and accomplished so much. I’ve accomplished a lot in my life. I’ve done everything I wanted to do. I wanted my own business, I had it. I wanted to get married and have kids, I did. I wanted to master four different skills, done. But I did not live a good life, did I?

1540

I killed people, people who didn’t deserve to have their lives cut short. I suppose the proper payback for that crime was for my life to be cut short too.

I lied and cheated to get what I wanted. I poisoned my own sister to get control of the legacy and then I tried to ruin her life every chance I got all the while blaming her for my mistakes. Now she would get to grow old, watch her daughter become an adult and maybe even meet a grandchild or two, a chance I would never have.

And Zachary… he deserved so much better than me and in spite of everything I had done to him and tried to do to him he begged for my life and offered up his in exchange. I wish I had the chance now to be a better person for him. A legitimately good person and not the phony I pretended to be early in our relationship to get him to like me.

Mum. My biggest regret was pushing her away when I was younger. I see now that she was the one I should have kept close instead of Dad. I loved my father and still do, but if I had followed my mother’s lead instead of his I think things would have ended differently for me. Or maybe it would have ended the same anyway. I was born the way I am. But I could have tried harder to resist the urge to do things I knew was wrong instead of justifying them for my own peace of mind. At the end of the day, I made my own decisions and they all landed me here… with my remains on the concrete.

1539

The Grim Reaper was right. Karma is very real. I now recognise that first hand and my only hope going forward is that my daughters never make the mistakes I made. I hope they never take their lives and their loved ones for granted. I hope they remain close to each other for the rest of their lives. I remember when I started having regrets about choosing Ivy as the heiress when she was a child but now I’m happy that I had the foresight to make one good decision in my life. I know she will keep this family together now that I’m gone. All I did during my time as heiress was push people away and put my needs ahead of others’ but she is not like me. She will succeed in all areas where I failed because she has a good heart.

She will make me proud.

She will restore honour to our name.

I hope wherever I move on to, I can see that happen for myself.

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Gemma's Memorial edit

This is the end of Generation 4. The next post will be the beginning of Generation 5 with Ivy as the new heiress.

I hope none of you are upset that I killed Gemma off. I always intended for her life to end before time, that’s why it was so drama filled! LOL. Because of her evil trait, I could never make her suddenly become a good person (especially since she is autonomously mean to everyone around her in the game and always has a whim to make an enemy) plus she had done too many bad things in her lifetime to get off scot-free. In spite of that, she was my favourite character thus far and I will miss her a lot. There was never a dull moment in the life of Gemma Sloane.

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