After my fight with Cyrus, there was complete radio silence between us. No calls, no texts, and he actively tried to avoid me at work. I actually saw him walking in my direction but when he spotted me he just turned and went the other way. I don’t understand what his problem is. I thought I was telling him what he wanted to hear but I guess I also shouldn’t have said what I said about his job either. But it’s the truth! Sofia will never allow him to have the opportunities that I’ve had, which is why I’ve been trying to convince him to quit and pursue his passions. Still, it was pretty awful of me to call him an errand boy.
And on top of having Cyrus ignore me, I had to come home to another set of drama.
Terrance proposed to Johanna!
I couldn’t believe it. After everything he put her through he just all of sudden decided to propose and the lame thing was that she accepted! Can you believe it?
My first thought was that Jo was pregnant and he was only going to marry her because he felt it was the right thing to do however Jo insisted that this was no shot-gun wedding. I want my sister to be happy but I honestly don’t believe she will be with the same guy who broke up with her on her birthday because he wanted to sleep around. She told us how he’s changed and how he wants to settle down now but I know it’s just a bunch of crap. Regardless of what I think, the wedding was going to happen so I knew I would have to get on board whether I liked it or not.
Whenever the wedding talk started I would always find a way to excuse myself. I couldn’t stand it. Dad and Izzy were just as concerned as I was about Jo marrying Terrance and yet they did nothing to try to talk her out of it. Everyone just put on fake smiles and helped her pick out flowers and caterers. I didn’t want to be a part of it but then she made me a bridesmaid. She’s my sister, I couldn’t say no. But I didn’t have to like it!
All the wedding planning made our house busy and noisy. Johanna wanted to have the wedding party in our backyard and she also wanted an elaborate set up so we had to hire gardeners and a construction crew to get it in order.
I never thought someone else’s wedding would be such a stressful time for me! I needed someone to talk to. I needed my friend.
“Cyrus, wait.” He stopped in his tracks and barely looked at me. He was obviously still mad at me and I don’t blame him because everything that’s happened was my fault and I had to be the one to fix it. “We need to talk. I need to apologise.”
“Go on.” He urged.
“I’ve been behaving really moody these days and I’ve said some things to you that I didn’t mean. I didn’t mean to insult you or hurt your feelings. I was totally wrong and I hope you can forgive me for being so…”
“Crazy? Is that the word you were looking for?” The corners of his mouth upturned slightly. I was glad he was in a better mood now from when I originally stopped him.
“Yeah, crazy is the word. I just want us to go back to normal, to the way we were before all this.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.” There was a seriousness in his tone and it worried me.
“There’s something else. I can feel it. I’ve been feeling it a long time now. It’s like something changed between us and I think you know what I’m talking about. I think you know that’s the real reason for your craziness.”
I sighed. He knew me so well! “I…um…let’s not talk about this right now.”
“Ivy, how long do you plan on avoiding this?”
“Just a little while longer, please? My head is in a mess right now. There’s so much going on with Jo’s wedding and all that. Um…Jo’s getting married to Terrance by the way.”
“I know. She sent me an invitation.”
She sent him an invitation! I didn’t know she did that. Why would she? She barely talks to him when he comes over. Unless…she figured out I like him and she was trying to help me out.
“So when then?” He continued. “When can we talk?”
“After the wedding, I promise.”
Thankfully he didn’t push me to talk to him right then and there because I just know I would have messed up and said the wrong thing again.
But at least we started talking to each other again even though it was not with the same casual ease as it was before. The situation was becoming more and more complicated and I had no idea what to do when Jo’s wedding would be over and Cyrus would be waiting for that talk.
I needed advice so I turned to the one person who knew me better than anyone else and I told her the whole story.
“It’s so obvious Vee. He likes you too.”
“But…he…why didn’t he say so?” I stuttered in disbelief.
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I…I was afraid of rejection. But when I flirted with him, he didn’t flirt back. He seemed uncomfortable so I thought…”
“What did he say to make you think he was uncomfortable?”
“He didn’t really say anything. He just looked at me and then stuttered.”
“Like he was surprised?” She smiled, obviously amused by all this. “Like maybe he also had feelings for you and when you made a move first it caught him off guard?”
“But he… he’s always made the first move with every girl he dated.”
“Maybe you’re not like the other girls to him. You guys have been friends for a long time. He probably didn’t want to mess that up just like you didn’t want to either. Vee, you guys are so much alike! I’m sure you would have reacted the same way if he hit on you first! Admit it! And can you imagine how hurt he must have felt when you took it back? You got the poor man’s hopes up only to dash it away.”
“I…didn’t mean to…”
“I know you didn’t. But now you have to make it right. Tell him the truth. Tell him you have feelings for him and you want to be more than just friends.”
“What if he doesn’t like me anymore because of this? What if I screwed up my chances with him because of my stupidity?”
“It’s a real possibility but you have to take that chance. Not being honest about your feelings is what got you in this mess in the first place.”
Izzy was right. I need to tell Cyrus how I feel. I need to tell him the truth.
Even if Izzy’s theory is wrong and I end up hurt.